A mi querida familia... [To my dear family] -I am so humbled. Like the scriptures say, "humbled to the dust of the earth," haha. This week has been a week of reflection and preparations. I truly feel and know that I am being prepared to leave my mission. Leaving a mission is so much more difficult than coming to the mission. When you come, things are much more expected. You know more or less the schedule, what we do as missionaries, the walking, the talking, etc. But going home is different. I really have no idea what to expect. Sure, I have an idea, but in reality I don't. I am excited though, I feel okay with it.
The last few weeks have been a battle with myself to know and to actually feel that the Lord is pleased with my works. I have felt so unsure about it, it seemed as though all of the mistakes I have made as a missionary were coming to mind! I have prayed so hard to be able to feel accepted by Him. Harder than ever, and so fervently. I had a wonderful experience last night. It was sacred, but I felt it. Over the last two weeks, I have felt more and more okay with going home. Finally, accepting that this comes to an end. I still don't feel 100%...but I feel okay with it and I know I will when I get on that plane. As I was praying last night, I was talking with my Father, going over my mission. I thought to myself, I am not perfect. He does not expect me to be perfect. I felt the sweetest sense of peace in my heart. I have made mistakes. But it is okay. I have worked so hard. I have pushed with everything I have. I have wet my pillow due to the agency of others. I have had companions that needed extra help. I have taught and helped others know who their Savior is. I have a lot of wrinkles and some extra pounds of rice, beans, carne and tortillas...and that's okay! I have done it. I still have a couple days left and I am so excited to use these days. I have loved my mission more than anything I have loved before. The Lord has blessed me in ways that I never thought were possible! The friendships I have made here will last for the eternities. I have changed. I have watched my investigators change. Less actives, etc.
The other day I was in my studies. I haven't had a million baptisms and at times I have wondered if I did something wrong. Then I remember how special are the baptisms that I have had. I read in D&C 18. It says, 'how great is your joy in bringing just one soul to Christ.' That doesn't say by having just one baptism....it says bringing a soul to Christ. I have worked with less actives, members, potential Elders and Sisters, companions, etc. I have tried to be an instrument in the hands of the Lord. The people I have been able to work with, have touched my life and brought me closer to Christ...that is amazing.
I never thought I would serve a full time mission, but oh, how eternally grateful I will be for serving one. I know that I needed to be here. I absolutely love my Savior and all He has done for me. I have felt many times in my heart as I have shared the first vision, that it really happened. It has touched my heart over and over again. I have felt the room go quiet as I share it. I know it happened. I know that Joseph Smith is a prophet, and that Jesus Christ worked through him to restore the Church. I have read the Book of Mormon in some of the most difficult times of my mission. It is what healed my heart. I just know it is true. I feel it so deeply and there is no way I could feel this much joy from nothing.
Thank you for supporting me! I am so happy! I am excited for the future because I know who I am and where I am going! I love my Savior. I love my Heavenly Father so much. I love you, and all those who have supported me!! I feel so at peace in the moment and just grateful for this opportunity. The biggest word that I think of is that I am just grateful. Thank you so much. I will see you very soon! I love you.Dear Dad,
My heart is so full, daddy. So full of many emotions. Just love and pure joy. I have loved serving the Lord. This has been an amazing experience.
I will see you soon, I cannot wait to hug you and share with you in person how special my mission is to me.
I will do everything I can to make the next couple days the most spiritual.
Thank you for your love and all you do for me, I have felt your faith-filled prayers. I love you.